Just let me whine for a minute

I am so tired.

A is getting worse not better.

He is having fits every week, when it used to happen far less. 

Halloween was so frustrating.  He used to not want to wear costumes...now he couldn't decide on what costume to wear.  Originally he was going as General Grievous from Star Wars....he says Jennifer Grievous...lol.  Then he changed his changed his mind to Darth Maul, just so he could get the Darth Maul light saber, which he had a full fit over in Target about. 

Of course Party City was out of Darth Maul by the time we went shopping, which was the last minute of 3 weeks before Halloween.  The snarky punk getting costumes made a face and said I should have bought costumes at least a month before....whatever...

The only costume A liked, that we could get in his size was a pirate.  Ok a pirate.  Well now he wanted a pirate sword and the Darth Maul light saber....Fine.  I give up.  Life is too hard, I will spoil him and buy him things I know I shouldn't.  Go ahead judge me...

Of course we get the light saber home and it is broken!  Of course by the time I get back to Party City it is an exchange only policy, and of course they are out of the Darth Maul light saber!

Of course the first time he uses the pirate sword it breaks.  Of course this happens in public, and he has a meltdown over it.

I am so tired.

Before Trick or Treating last night we headed to my mom's for her to see them dressed up.  She gave them each a cool cup, a flashlight, and tons of candy.  A wanted his flashlight.  Of course it doesn't work.  Of course this throws him into a fit and now he doesn't want to go Trick or Treating at all.  Well I am sick so I really can't handle taking the other boys Trick or Treating by myself, nor do I really want to stay home with a fussy A by myself.  So no A, we are all going Trick or Treating!

Then we head to Target to get A another pirate sword, because he had to have one.  The $5 sword wasn't what he wanted.  The $20 sword however was great.  Wonderful, now let's go. 
Wait that was too easy...here let's have A have a fit over wanting to buy toys as well.  He wanted presents for Halloween.  I tried to explain that Halloween is not a present holiday.  Well anyone who has ever had an argument with someone with Autism/Asperger's can feel my pain...because after 20 minutes he is still not convinced he doesn't get presents.

Finally we are Trick or Treating.  Or rather K and I are Trick or Treating while A hides by the stroller playing with his sword.  He is too shy to ask for candy or say Trick or Treat, but every now and then he does want to show people his sword and costume, which is really good.

I am so tired.

Today there is no school due a very strategically placed Teacher/Parent conference day.  A has asked no less than 5 times about a toy that he wants...not for Christmas, but today.  Again I keep explaining to him that he will not get anything until Christmas...to no avail.

I am so tired.

I have been hiding from life lately.  I am behind on work, housework, everything.  I am depressed. I just want to climb into bed and rest, or get lost in a great book...another world where there is no child who needs me to be more patient with him.  A world where I am not angry with people for not getting it. A world with no bills, or dealing with finances.

I am so tired.

Decisions...

So I need to make certain decisions.

How am I supposed to know if I am making the right ones?

Which path to choose?

I have been really down this week, and I think if I can get past certain decisions I have to make I will feel better.

I am going to start batch cooking again soon...I have been lazy since back from Disney....

In other news...K, my oldest, is thriving since we got him on ADHD meds.  I never wanted to medicate my child, but the difference is so great.  He is making great grades in school!  He can sit still (enough) to learn and remember, his penmanship is legible, and he looks forward to school!

However, A is not doing better.  We put him on an antidepressant and it did absolutely nothing.  In fact some of his behaviors got worse.  He developed a new tick...he now makes a weird sound in his throat when nervous or anxious, which is ALL the time... He doesn't want to go to school anymore...not that I can blame him.

I got his interim report and for the Reading section it said "Child is very below average, contact teacher"  Well DUH!  He is mentally 4 years old, and they have him in a regular 1st grade class for reading...kmngrwsnm;pweampfnio....that was me hitting my head on the keyboard!

Still haven't had an IEP meeting....still no speech therapy....he came home and told me that he can't eat luch at school because by the time he sits down it is time to pick up...oh and they told him he can't eat yogurt for snack time...owejiowfeoHNIROI...again my head banging in frustration! 

Blogging LIVE from Disney

We are here!

I know, I haven't posted much in a while.  I have been too stressed out since Hurricane Isaac.

Ok so real quick for this morning....

A is on a semi hunger strike.  I knew he would do this, and I am not fighting it or forcing him to eat.  He says his tummy hurts, and I see that look in his eye.  The look of not knowing where he is and being terrified about it.  His moods have been OK.  Much better since we got in and he was able to buy his first toy last night.  A Star Wars gun.  It is really cute to see him and K, my oldest stalking around with their toys gun shooting imaginary dinosaurs and Storm Troopers...

Hopefully he will eat something today.

Oh and as a PS...
We have been here less than 24 hours and already I saw an irate women tell her son that she "really couldn't even stand to look at him right now!"  He looked about 10.  Now I don't know what happened right before that, but minutes later she told her daughter off for playing with a rock...she might have been 8.

Come on lady you are on vacation at one of the most expensive places on earth...try to have some fun!

Oh and PPS...
We met a women with her mother and two daughters.  One of her daughters was in a wheelchair(the kind that looks like a stroller so you know this child has been in it for a long time).  After a discussion we learned that her daughter had brain cancer.  She said they were having a great time, but some people gave her looks when she and her family used another entrance to get on a ride...a look that reads "must be nice that they get to cut all the lines"...The lady went on to say that she felt like telling them she would gladly trade her daughter's brain cancer for waiting in any line, any day...

Open House

Tonight is one of those nights that I wish and wish and wish my kid was not in Special Education...

Open House at my kids' school was tonight.  Most of it was been there, done that.  A couple of changes that sort of irk my nerves, but nothing major.  ie New rule: if a kid forgets their lunch at home, they are SOL.  You can no longer bring it to them/to the office for them...supposedly it's all about holding them accountable.

We went to our oldest son's class first.  His teacher is very nice.  I told her that we are taking him out of school next month and that I would fully explain in an email.  She gave me a knowing smile and nod, and said that K has been telling her all about it!  I asked her how he was doing and she said she would fill me in when I emailed her.  I figure it can't be anything too pressing since she didn't want to schedule a conference like she did with some of the other parents.

So we moved on to A's teacher.  Let me stop here and mention the goings on of A's first few days of school.  As I mentioned in another post, I brought him to his 1st grade class on the first day of school.  I told his teacher who he was and that he should be spending some time in the Special Ed room as well as her class and that we need to adjust his IEP because he needs to start Speech Therapy as well.

Well, as the week goes on, I ask A how school is doing.  One day he comes home and tells me "School is OK, but I didn't get any candy today..."  I asked what he meant, and he said "Teacher said if we make our numbers we get a candy, but I couldn't do my numbers, so I didn't get a candy."  I asked him if he had someone helping him (I even referred back to last year's Aide) or if he asked for help and he said "No one was helping me, I asked for help but no one was helping me..."

Um...What?!  He is supposed to have an Aide or Para....why would she give candy to some and not all...why is she giving out candy at all...why would she single out a SPED student???

I then ask if he has been going to his other class and he says "No I spend all day in Mrs----'s class.

Again WHAT?!  A full 7 hours in a regular 1st grade class when my son is mentally about 4-5 years old!

Then the straw that broke the camels back...the note cards.  In 1st grade they write note cards in class so the kids can practice certain spelling words.  Well with no help this is what A came home with

 Those I could make out...these below I could not...

Now look I get it.  A doesn't "appear" different from most first graders.  However, as soon as he starts talking you can tell that he is a little behind.  His has an IEP.  Plus I sent his new evaluation in the first week, so it's not like the school doesn't know!  Per his homework, he was to study these cards for a test in a few days.  How were we to get him to study if we couldn't even make out what they were supposed to be?!  Not to mention A can barely write his letters and numbers, let alone words on his own. 

So I complained to Facebook, and waited to call the teachers until I was much calmer.

I call Mrs---- the 1st grade teacher, and leave a message.  She calls me back and says she doesn't know why A is in her class all day, but she will contact the SPED teacher and find out.  She calls back later to say starting the next day A will be in the SPED class and 1st grade class 50/50. No explination, no further instructions, nada.  OK

A keeps coming home with regular homework, no modifications...so we have spent every night painfully getting through this work.  The only way A can write a word or whatever is to have us write it out for him, then below that make dot outline or write it in highlighter and have him trace over it.  After every 3 or so letters he starts "Idontwannadothisitstoohard" and usually goes limp and falls to the floor a few times.  This process takes about 1 1/2-2 hours!

So I had really hoped to talk to his 1st grade and SPED teachers to find out ways to make this better, plus we really need to update his IEP and get him in Speech.

So we go see his 1st grade teacher and she looks right at us and says "A doesn't really come in here at all much, just for journal time and then he spends the rest of the day in Mrs==='s class." and turns away.

Um SERIOUSLY?!  WTF!  Just totally ignored us.  Before we left I walked up and told her that we were taking him out of school the last week of September...as I am saying this her eyes bulge and a look of disgust? maybe washes over her face.  I told her I would email the details, and left.  Really?!  UGH

The SPED teacher was out sick, so I didn't get anything resolved and now I am just pissed off all over again.  The most frustrating part is that this school is the best school for SPED in the parish...and I have never had a major issue before!

So for now, I am just going to...

Yes I booked my dining 5 months ago...

You may have heard...I am going to Disney World next month!

In the last Disney post I mentioned that you need to plan ahead for Disney.  One of the major planning points is booking dinning reservations (ADRs) 6 months in advance.

Ok, ok I hear you.  How do I know what we are going to want to eat on which day for a vacation 6 months from now?!  Well that's the tricky part.

What people used to do (I never did this but I have read about it) is make multiple ADRs for mealtimes and go to the one they felt like.  Well Disney caught on.  Now they don't allow your ADRs to overlap, plus the popular places now charge a no show fee of $10 per person if you don't cancel your ADR at least 24 hours a head of time.

So what to do?  Well You can over plan, like we did in 2009.  I made an ADR for every meal, for every day of our trip.  It was miserable.  Especially since one of A's panic attack/fit triggers is noisy crowded restaurants, where he doesn't know what kind of food they serve.  Of course we didn't know this at the time.

So I learned from that for this trip.  This go round, I planned out my days better.  First I checked out touringplans.com for their best park for each day of our trip.  It's pretty cool, they compile data from past years, they factor in tour groups or events in the area, plus I think they even factor in the weather that week.

Once I had that info, I planned one sit down meal or dinner show per day.  Now we are going during the Free Dining promotion, so we have a meal plan.  We upgraded to the Deluxe version of that plan, and we get 3 meal credits per day, and 2 snack credits per day.  Most meals cost 1 credit, but the dinner shows cost 2.  For sit down meals we get 1 appetizer, 1 entree, 1 dessert, and 1 non alcoholic beverage per person, and for counter service meals (fast food) we get 1 combo meal or 1 entree plus side and a non alcoholic beverage.
The meals I didn't plan for we will wing it.  Just grab something at the resort's food court, or if the kids see a restaurant they want to try we will go there.

I prefer the dining plan because it allows us to pre-pay for all of our meals, excluding tip and any alcohol we drink.  I prefer to make at least one reservation per day.  It makes sure we don't have to wait too long for that meal (walking up to a table service restaurant without an ADR is tricky, sometimes you have to wait 45 minutes and longer, and sometimes they have no availability!).

Some of the places we are going to eat at...

I have made ADRs to eat at Hoop Dee Doo Review- a GREAT dinner show, vaudeville style show and they serve fried chicken, BBQ ribs and fixins'...
Spirit of Aloha Dinner Show-another great show that features fire dancers and such while you feast on traditional Luau foods like roasted chicken and pineapple pork...
Cinderella's Royal Table- Dine in the the castle while Disney Princesses and Princes visit your table!
Liberty Tree Tavern-this restaurant is themed like colonial America, my husband loves this restaurant because the dinner is just like traditional Thanksgiving...
50's Prime Time cafe-Very cool restaurant!  Feels like you are dining in Mom's kitchen from the 50s and 60s...they serve the BEST fried chicken!..
Rose and Crown Pub-English food, I love this place for the fruit and cheese plate, the stew and Woodchuck Cider on tap!

See at Walt Disney World eating isn't just something you have to do, it becomes an experience.

Now that we have a plan, what can we do to help A, who doesn't like strange restaurants?  Well Disney is very accommodating.  I will be able to email and call someone in the dining department and explain our situation.  They will contact the chefs at each restaurant and let them know that our child has eating issues due to his Asperger's and they will try to make some of his foods available.  For instance at the Hoop Dee Doo, the chefs will make A a pepperoni pizza or a grilled cheese.  I would not have known this if it wasn't for planning, and I wouldn't know which restaurants to contact if I didn't make my ADRs back in March!

So it is worth it to book your ADRs 6 months in advance if you can!

Planning a Disney vacation...aka....Universal is not part of Disney World

As you may have heard, we're going to Disney World in less than two months.  I have been planning this trip since March.

I heard a statistic that 70% of all people traveling to Walt Disney World (that's the one in Florida) are "Once in a Lifetime" visitors.  Meaning that those people go to WDW once and that's it.  I have an idea why those people never go back.

Sure the easy answer is money.  Disney is freaking expensive...more on that later....

I truly believe the reason most people only go once is because of poor planning.

For instance, if I want to go to the beach...All I have to do is book a hotel room, and pack my swimsuit.  Done.  No planning, right?  Of course that isn't how I would travel to the beach...I would spend hours scouring the inter-webs for the best accommodations for our budget, research the best spots of beach to visit in that area, look into what restaurants they have on the way and nearby, and also plan a day trip to something educational as a back up/when my kids are tired of being at the beach!

Disney is NOT this kind of vacation.

I always hear from people returning from Disney, that it was too hot, too crowded, lines too long, no availability at the restaurants(character meals, dinner shows, and signature restaurants fill up 6 months in advance!!!), and everyone was tired and miserable on the 1 hour drive back to the hotel that claimed to be "minutes" from the main gate!  Oh and our ticket to Disney didn't include Universal Studios!

I get it.  Walt Disney World is huge, 47 square miles...twice the size of Manhattan!  It's confusing! It has 4 theme parks (none of which are Universal Studios), 2 water parks, a huge shopping and dining area, and over 20 resorts (all with different themes and levels of amenities).

Overwhelmed yet?  Look at it this way...if you were going to throw down a couple of grand on anything else, you would do your research first!  That is the best was to approach a Disney trip.

Now take that into consideration, then add a toddler, a child with Asperger's, and a child with ADHD.  Yes it does take me 7 months to plan a Disney vacation for my family.

Over the next few posts I will walk through what I go through to get ready for a vacation like this.

It's a Zippidee Do Da kind of day

We are going to Disney World.

Again, yes again.

I have been to the World 4 times on vacation, and dozens more while working there, first on the College Program in 2001-2002, and then for 4 months after Katrina hit in 2005-2006.  Disney is my happy place.  My drug.

I fell in love with the World as a 12 year old in 1995.  I was supposed to go before that.  My grandfather was going to take me.  My dad was going around the same time, but because he thought I was going with my grandparents he didn't take me.  Then my grandfather's trip fell through.  So on Christmas day, 1994, when my aunt and uncle asked me if I wanted to go for Mardi Gras, I was a bit skeptical.

My mom and grandparents scrounged up the me for me to go.  Funny story:  My grandmother won $700 on a slot machine two weeks before we left for this Disney trip.  She gave every penny of it to my uncle, for him to split between my 5 year old cousin and me.  She said God gave her that money for to go and have fun.  I love her!

Not knowing better, my mom packed me up, with mostly t-shirts and shorts, and a pair of Keds.  I don't know if any of yall know what Keds are...but they have maybe a 1/16 of an inch of material between your feet and miles of walking!  Not great Disney shoes!

Normally, my uncle likes to drive in the early morning hours, a tradition I would continue!  However, this trip got delayed.  My aunt and uncle owned a poboy(New Orleans style subs) shop at this time, and they had to open, and work through the lunch rush before we could leave.  I remember my cousin Markie and I waiting that day.  It seemed like it took forever for us to finally get on the road.  I think we left sometime around 3pm.

My uncle doesn't like to stop.  In fact he is one of those travelers that likes to "make good time".  We eat in the car, and only stop for gas, which is where we pee as well...

We arrived around 1-2am.  We stayed at Disney's All Star Music Resort, Calypso section.  I was so excited.  As I sleepily walked to our room, I took in the all the wonderful sights and colors...a 2 or 3 story tall pair of maracas, and everything was bright orange and pink!

I don't remember too much about that trip except for a few details.  Markie and I fought like brother and sister the entire trip!  I remember him singing "It's a Small World after all.." over and over again, all day, just because I told him to stop.

I remember going to eat at the Coral Reef, a restaurant that shares an entire wall with the Living Seas, a huge ass aquarium.  The restaurant makes you fell as if you are dining under water.  Ass you step into the restaurant, you have to step down 4 or 5 steps.  On the side of these steps used to be bubble machines.  Markie, who was in front of me, got distracted by the bubbles(what 5 year old wouldn't?) and to be honest so did I and he stopped mid step, and I tripped over him and landed on top of him.

Disney cast members quickly ushered us to First Aid to make sure I didn't break his arm!  Almost 20 years later and I still haven't lived that one down!

I remember renting a watermouse, falling asleep at the Luau,and not wanting to ride scary rides(Space Mountain, Haunted Mansion) until they made me ride Big Thunder Mountain Railroad (I LOVED IT!).  I remember my uncle getting sick after riding the Teacups, and I remember hearing Phantom of the Opera for the first time on the drive up there and back(my aunt and uncle had seen it recently and bought the cd, I LOVED IT, and still do!), and I remember going to mass at the Polynesian(it was outdoors and one of the most peaceful services I have ever been to!).

Most of all I remember having to get a wheelchair on the 3rd day because those wonderful Keds I wore gave me blisters on every area of my feet...I couldn't even tie the laces, let alone walk!  Another thing that I haven't lived down yet!



This trip started a lifelong love affair for me with the Mouse.  In my next few posts I will talk about my first trip with my husband, our first trip with our children, and planning our current trip-a trip with 8 y/o with ADHD, a 6 y/o with Asperger's, and a toddler!