It started the day he was born. He came into this world on a Wednesday, six years ago this month, around 12:15pm; he was SCREAMING and PISSED OFF! He was born via C-section, 10 months after Hurricane Katrina devastated our area. From giving birth 20 months prior, I could really tell how Katrina affected this particular hospital. In 2004 when I delivered, also via C-section, there were at least 8 nurses in the OR...fast forward to 2006 and there were only 4. I could tell they were overworked, tired, and not very nurturing. I let it go.
For those of you who have never had a C-section, the baby comes out, they clean him up, I get to kiss his head, before they rush him to the nursery to weigh and measure and put him in a warm bed for observation. They try to bring the baby back as soon as possible, and with my oldest it was well under 2 hours.
Unless they think something is wrong...
I was in recovery, waiting for my baby and waiting to be moved to my room. My family was in and out, saying how cute he was and how much he looked like my husband. 2 hours go by. A nurse comes in and says that I should be moved to my room any minute now....Um Ok, what about my baby?? "Oh...no one told you?" "Told me what?" says me trying very hard not to freak out. "Oh...the baby was having trouble breathing, so they took him for an X-Ray and I think they put him on oxygen."
WHAT? Was no one going to let me know this? What the hell??
So I get moved to my room, with no baby. Another 2 hours go by, and NO ONE WILL TELL ME ANYTHING. I call the nursery and I am told they are still running tests and observing him...they will let me know when they know.
Another 3 hours go by just like this. At this point my legs are still numb from surgery and I still had a catheter in, so it isn't like I can just hop on down to the nursery myself. Visitors have been in and out and they all say the same thing, "We saw him in the nursery and he is the big baby boy who won't stop screaming."
I look at my husband and I tell him in my most serious, Momma Bear voice "YOU are GOING to go GET MY SON or YOU will GET A NURSE and wheelchair to BRING me there MYSELF!" My husband left the room, and minutes later I could hear a screaming baby being wheeled down the hall. My husband said he didn't have to go far as they were bringing him just then.
As soon as I picked him up he stopped screaming.
Just like that.
From that moment on, whenever he needed something (food, diaper change, etc) he wouldn't grunt, or fuss, or whine...he would go straight to screaming. It would take us years to figure out that he is wired a little different, and to finally get a diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder- Not Otherwise Specified(PDD-NOS), and later Asperger's.
I have had to change so much of how I thought about parenting to be able to parent him properly. It has made me more tolerant of others(at least I hope it has), and I am trying not to make snap judgements about people.
And because I am a total Disney freak, I will call him refer to him as Stitch...
I like to refer to my kids as having "extra needs" as I don't care for special needs or having something 'wrong' with them. ;) Learning what works best for our kids is so difficult at times and it seems I learn something new each day, whether it's what not to do or something that works/helps. My 9yo has anxiety & ADHD and we are attempting to discover what is going on with the 6yo. I think both have sensory processing disorder/needs that are always an issue it seems.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say that some of us can understand a piece of what you are going through and that you are not alone. Hugs!