I scream, you scream

Summer is a time for fun in the sun.  For me summer has had its ups and downs.

My middle son, however, is having a tough time.  Routine and schedules are key to keeping a child with AS happy.  I haven’t been able to keep a set schedule for a number of reasons.  With 3 kids, a husband who works 12 hours a day, and I have a part-time job…things come up.  I try to plan outings, like swimming at the Y, the park, and occasionally the movies.  But some days, I admit, I don’t want to do anything…it’s too hot, or it rains...or I really don’t feel like doing anything. 

So we have had more meltdowns than usual.  During the school year, he may have one or two meltdowns a week.  This summer we are averaging 5-7 per week. 

Last night, we had a MAJOR meltdown.  We get in the van to go to Walmart, which is already an overwhelming experience for my son, and he starts…

“When we get to Walmart can I buy something?”-A

“Not tonight A.  Tonight we are just going to get the computer cord and some groceries, and then we are leaving.”-Me

“Why? I want to buy something! When we get to Walmart can I buy something?”-A

“A, not tonight.”-Me

“Why? I want to buy something! When we get to Walmart can I buy something?  Why? I want to buy something! When we get to Walmart can I buy something?  Why? I want to buy something! When we get to Walmart can I buy something?” and on and on!

“No A, I said no, not tonight.”

“Ohhh…I want to buy something!  You never let me buy anything!  I want to buy something! When we get to Walmart can I buy something?!”-A

I decide to see if I can defuse the situation before we get there, and I offer up an alternative…

“A, would you like an ice cream instead?  We are going to stop for snowballs.”

“You won’t let me have ice cream, because I can’t buy anything at Walmart.”  And again and again and again it continues.

So I buy the other two boys, my husband, and myself a snowball/ice cream.  Get back in the van.

“Ohhh..I want an ice cream!  You never buy me nothing!”-A

“A, I will only buy you an ice cream if you stop crying and screaming.  Can you do that?”

“…Ok”-A

 He gets his ice cream and refuses to eat it, because he is still upset.  We get to Walmart and the broken record starts again…”Can you buy me something at Walmart?”

OK Steph, just breathe (don’t kill him!).  He can’t help it.  He can’t help the repetitive phrases...it’s all part of his disorder.  I know why he wants to buy something.  That is his coping mechanism for Walmart.  He can’t stand the crowds, the noises, the smells!  If he is allowed to buy something, he can focus on that, not on his surroundings. 

The problem is I don’t want to have to buy him something EVERY TIME we go to Walmart!  He has tons of toys as it is (not to mention we have limited funds)!  If he would have settled for a candy, or something small, then I could see doing that…but I know he wanted something in the toy department…something big…lol.

He was able to get through Walmart without buying something, but he had to ride inside the shopping cart, eating his ice cream.