You know what they say...

I haven’t wanted to blog this past week.  I've had too much crap on my mind, and I am afraid to post certain things.  Let me start with the fact that I can’t stop thinking about a friend of mine.  She is going through the worst thing imaginable.  I won’t go into it….it’s not my tale to tell.  Let me say this though, in comparison I am finding it very hard to complain about my life.

I also learned something this weekend about a loved one, that I would rather I hadn’t.  No, I am glad I know, but I just wish the person would get help.  They are on a path of self-destruction and in complete denial about it.

Sorry for starting out so cryptic…I just can’t go into more detail.

Ok so back to my life…my bitching…

My oldest son is on medication for ADHD.  He was diagnosed in May.  His doctor said that he case is very severe and that choosing to medicate is the better choice.  So he has been on Vyvance since June.  We have increased the dosage once, and it is still not working.  He is still bouncing off the walls (think Tigger, but on speed, lol).  The only time I can get him to settle down is when he plays on the computer.

Do you know what he likes to do on the computer?  Watch animal vs animal videos.  My sweet, funny, charming almost 8 y/o likes to watch animals fight one another.  Should I worry about this or is this typical gross boy behavior?  It isn’t just fighting; the videos also give facts about each animal.  I know this because he likes to tell me all about it…lol.

He also likes to read about animals.  He got a fact book about “sea monsters” that he reads over and over.   He likes joke books too. 

He is excited because he gets to go back to school early this year.  He qualified for a reading program at school, to help him get caught up to grade level.  So for the next 3 weeks, he gets to go to school, for half a day, and read. 

I hope all we did this summer (getting him glasses, the medication, making him read daily and now this program) helps him get caught up to speed.  He is so smart, and so willing to learn, he just couldn’t sit still long enough to retain any of it.

I have spoken to an adult who has severe ADD and she told me what it was like for her before her diagnosis and medication.  She said it felt like there were a million things running through her mind at once and she couldn’t focus on any of them.  She said she felt like she was going crazy.  She couldn’t believe the difference the medication made.  She feels like she can actually function now.

See, I used to be one of those people who didn’t believe that ADD/ADHD was real.  Or maybe it is real, but it was VERY over diagnosed.  That kid isn’t hyper, he is a kid.  So of course when the teacher called to tell me she thought I should get my oldest son tested, the first thought was “he’s the youngest in his class” or “he’s a little boy”…etc. 

Now I know it really is an under developed part of the brain, not being able to communicate with other parts of the brain.  My son needs medication to create those neuro-pathways. 

If you break your leg, you get a cast…no one looks down on you for getting a cast.  Why is there such a stigma for ADD/ADHD and the medications for it?  Why do I still see “the look” when I say that he takes medicine?

Going through this, the biggest lesson I am learning is to not make snap judgments about other people.  I am the worst.  I gossip.  I judge.  I am a busybody.  I am starting to try to stop these behaviors, but it is hard.